20.3.06

I just wanna feel, real love

Life goes on, as it never ends. Time flies by, and all of a sudden you realise, dude!!! you're giving you're mid sems now. So half of your final sem is over. Like bhai always puts it , just an 'r' away from becoming an enginee* !!! By the by, our final sem dates are out, and we start with our exams on the 24th of april, sure to finish by the first week of may. A month and a half to go.WOW!!!
Last week was oscar fever.
Good Night and Good Luck: Great movie...performances were okay...real footage of Joe McCarthy is the reason u shud see this movie. U'll see media with a new respect.
Munich: Steven Spielberg does it again. An on the edge movie based on one of the most shameful acts of barbarism in olympics and sporting history. Eric Bana plays a wonderful role, watch out for the scene when he talks to his baby girl.
Crash: Wow...just wow!!! Anything I write about this movie, would be a spoiler. A must see. Academy people know what they are doing.

Today, for the first time, i was complimented for my blog. It was a tremendous feeling.
And i realised how a compliment can make your day. Everything just went right from there.This was soon followed by appreciation handed out by none other than bhai himself... now isn't that something?? Also...keeping up with current affairs...the company i'm gonna work for came to college today and picked some 123 students from the 2007 batch. Wow...does it have an office comprising entirely of benches?? ;)

Well here is a something special that i have wanted to write for a very long time. I dedicate this blog entry to one of my best friends here and pseudo roommate. He is the inspiration for this blog...and for much more.
http://rohitx.blogspot.com
We make extensive plans for our lives. He says he's gonna retire early, sit in a Lazy-boy E-cliner 3000 presented by me as a marriage gift and write a book. Well i hope for a lot of that to come true. 1. I hope he gets married to the one he's dedicated his blog to. 2. I hope i can one day earn enough to hand out lazyboy chairs (joey and chandler chairs...for the uninitiated) as wedding gifts. 3. Above all else, i hope he writes that book. This just to let him know that he'll find me at the top of the list of takers.
He definitely touches a nerve by his "keep talking" post. I personally feel its raw,unadultrated truth and holds a special meaning for me beacuse i treasure conversations. I love talking, listening, observing, commenting, rambling, ranting, in essence doing exactly what defines a homo sapien, the ability to communicate.

Just to add to the list of human instincts,i have one which i'm sure is shared by millions. By everybody around me and everybody around you.

One of my most natural instincts is to love and the need to be loved.

Love of somebody who makes you want to feel better. That somebody who defines you, who understands you. You get the urge to redefine the world when you are with her. Someone who governs your thought processes, and your decisions. Someone around who, at least in your dreams, your future revolves. Its incredible to have that someone in my life. To have something so beautiful, who reciprocates in a way that makes you love yourself. It requires patience and understanding to make a relationship work, and i'm lucky to have found someone who has both. And i get the strongest need to be loved by her. To get appreciation, adoration and applause from her. Because when i do, I feel like a super-hero. And even today...the sound of her voice makes me feel like a 15 year old boy, holding a grey coloured telephone, nervously dialling a number, hoping its her who picks up. To see the look on her face when i give her a gift. Even today, when i meet her, I feel like a 17 year old boy, climbing the steps to the third floor, knocking, fully knowing that i'm late and having an excuse ready at hand.Even today when i listen to the song "the best of me" , i am immediately transported to an evening in my living room, with this song playing, and with her sittin across the table, us having just returned from our day out on the road making paper boats and racing them. Getting ready to meet her is still accompanied by total restlessness, an absolute lack of appetite,frantic attempts to make my hair look a little stylish. I dont know where our lives are taking us, but right now, I am happy to dream, happy to be in love.

Love of family....love of a mom who gives you your identity. Of a mom who knows you inside out. Who will always find out where you've been. Who will always know what's troubling you. Who will confront you by trying to talk about exactly what's bothering you followed by your frantic efforts to deny it. Who will always take your side, even though she may regret it later. Who will sacrifice her life, so you can have one. This woman is the one who loves you more than you love yourself. I take my mom's love for granted. I have a right to, i feel at times. Love of a dad, who sees himself in you. Who gets angry when you do things which are even slightly illogical. Someone who knows more than you, believe me. Who will love you so unconditionally that at one point of time, U'll be to him what he always wanted to be.Love of a brother, who'll think you're his responsibility. I idolize him to the point of hero-worship. When someone says i look like him, it fills me with an odd sense of pleasure. he is someone who always teaches you to be a thinker, to have a sound mind, to learn to do the right thing, and all this without an explicit instruction. who makes you feel proud of yourself when he says I'm matured beyond my years. I know he doesn't like rap, but i just wanna say i wanna be just like him, cuss like him, dress like him, walk talk and act like him, i just might be the next best thing, but not quite him.Love of a sister, who makes you want to be a kid all your life. Who values your opinion. Who cries her eyes out when you burn yourself in an accident. Someone who always wants to take you under her wings. She wants you to fly AND she might let you sing. A family's which is gonna keep baby, cozy and warm.

I'll keep the love of friends for subsequent posts.

What i want to let people know is that i feel love is the most beautiful, fulfilling sensation known to man. Its amazing to realise that the hunger for love can be satiated, but its magnitude can never be determined. I can accomodate millions in this puny heart and soul of mine, and i want to make love the sole reason of my existence. It defines who i am. I am a guy who loves appreciation, who would like nothing better than people registering surprise at my failures, nothing would inflate the bubble more than being loved, respected and recognised as an individual. These make me human. These needs and urges make me the pinnacle of evolution.
I believe in passion.
Finally, i believe in the adage "if you love someone, show it !!" I like nothing better than a hug. I am a firm believer in Physical manifestation of love. Nothing motivates like love can. I have all the love in the world to give. And my daily prayer to God would be only to give me too much love, running through my veins.....

5 comments:

Mr ROM said...

Hey Jainzy, It feels so awesome to have an entire post dedicated to me.
didn't know I could inspire anybody. Putting it simply, this was a LOVEly post..it was almost as if it was written by my alter ego. Feel the same way abt everything you wrote abt. It made me reminisce about our first few days in hostel together..All the great sharing! About the book i'm definitely writing..You'll not be only at the top of the list of takers, but will be in the acknowledgements page too! ..Keep posting buddy

Anonymous said...

real good thought...wish i were as optimistic as u are

Anonymous said...

Vicky,

Man your bhai is right when he says you have matured beyond your years. Could never have expected such a blog from someone who I always thought was a kid brother of Jain.

Uttu ( Jainz's friend... if you remember)

Jain said...

he he...thanx uttu bhai...i've gotta stop bhai from publicising this junk.
well in this particular post i was in a real explosive mood. and i guess i'll always be a kid brother of Jain. And hey sorry to say this but i just cudnt put all ur advice and tips to gud use on the spjain episode. heh heh.

Cinderella said...

Nice blog and a nice post...I kinda stumbled by.
And yep,about Munich..that conversation scene of ERic Bana with his daughter is absolute heart-melting.
Crash was simply superb..like you said the Oscar ppl sure know what they're doing,havent watched GNGL though.